Image courtesy of @tastartgurlerotic3
In today’s post I am going to explore my memories of the first time a third person was introduced to my lovemaking… I say lovemaking because there was the emotional attachment that is missing from the previous blog posts. I write about this because of it’s relevance in my sexual/emotional development… in many respects it was a pivotal moment and has been a backdrop to so many of my erotic fantasies ever since. Emotionally it is of enormous significance to me because it challenged my previously held view that sexual pleasure in a loving relationship had to be enjoyed solely between the couple. I had struggled with the guilt I harboured through my promiscuous activities, and this was because of my upbringing and how sexuality was dealt with in my family… or not, as the case may be!
That aside, there is still a certain social taboo associated with extra-relationship sexual encounters. Of course we all know it happens, but never in an open , transparent natural way. It is always regarded as an object of gossip and rumour… a point of fun making, and clearly the behaviour of kinky perverts. Then there is the question of “How could she/he ever let him/her fuck another?” ….and the endless denial that each and every one of us has of secret fantasies in our minds and never explores beyond the constraints of monogamous relationships. This is before we even consider the jealousies that are unleashed.
Jealousy is one of our most visceral of responses and can be triggered incredibly easily by a vast array of influences and once our psyche starts to process these the outcomes can be quite devastating in effect, not only to the host of the feelings but to the relationship as well.
I generally feel in control of any irrational jealous responses I might experience, but such is the intoxicating nature of the emotion that I have fallen into it’s trap, even when the “threat” to the relationship is really quite irrational. Recently I have experienced precisely that… falling for someone online and even though, intellectually, I am fully aware of their ongoing commitments to their “real life” relationship, the pangs of jealousy I have experienced have been quite intensely palpable, even having never met the person.
The complexities and vagaries of how jealousy manifests itself in our psyche are far beyond the scope of this little blog missive. Suffice it to say that it was not a factor in the encounter I am describing here, far from it.
Jealousy, whilst being a potentially painful and destructive force, also has a positive value in that it drives individuals to examine their behaviours if they are to maintain their valued relationship.
There is a fly in this ointment… Polyamorists talk of “Compersion”, essentially the opposite of jealousy. The idea being that whatever makes your partner happy is pleasing to you. Wonderful in concept, but requires a deep understanding between the individuals for the visceral nature of jealousy to be authentically overcome. Feeling secure in a relationship is an intoxicating item, with even the slightest hint of it being breached invoking intense responses.
Personally, I don’t see myself as truly compersive, or for that matter, at all. I adore giving pleasure, I adore my partner experiencing pleasure. Do I experience the same pleasure if I am isolated from the experience. Well no. If I am complicit, that is different. It is actively consensual between us. It is clear between us that our mutual joy is relevant.
My experience involves a complete stranger participating in my partner and I’s sexual play… perhaps his being a stranger allowed me to overcome any feelings of jealousy that arose. I can honestly say that at no point did I feel any emotional anxiety during the encounter, or for that matter since, indeed if anything the sexual activity between myself and my partner was enhanced considerably by it.
During the summer break from university, I found myself in the Greek islands backpacking, hopping from one island to another, sleeping in cheap accommodation or on the beach. About a week in I hooked up with a girl, Emma, who was on a gap year. We hit it off straight away as we were both at Manchester University although with 20,000 students and on different faculties, we hadn’t met before. This was in the early to mid eighties and the music scene in the city was electric and ecstasy had taken hold. We both went to the same clubs and enjoyed the same bands… it wasn’t long before things developed between us and our relationship took on a more intimate nature.
After about three weeks of simply enjoying each other and moving around the islands, partying late and sleeping even later, we found ourselves in a remote corner of Corfu. The south of the island is full of tourists during the summer, but in the north the island is much wilder and less spoiled. On this particular day we had been having lunch in a small beachside taverna, miles from anywhere. Only a handful of families enjoying the normal civilised family things that families do on beaches. The lingering lunch had taken it’s toll and a bottle of wine worse for wear we took to the beach. We found a secluded cove backed by dunes where we threw down our towels and snoozed of the boozy lunch. It was quite idyllic… distant sounds of children playing, waves gently lapping.
We awoke a couple of hours later and the sun was now much lower in the sky. The families had all gone and we were alone. The setting sun was the perfect backdrop as we made our way down to the water, hand in hand. Emma had removed her bikini top and her nakedness was having its effect. The remoteness, the freedom. Without even thinking I pulled off my shorts and we ran into the waves, giggling at our boldness. It was like a cliche scene from a romantic movie. Young lovers making out in crashing waves as the sun goes down… or at least that’s how I remember it through the rose tinted retrospective spectacles! In truth, we were just as horny as fuck and it could have been a downtown parking lot for all we cared.
Long story short… we made our way back to our towels and dried ourselves off. Emma giggled as I shyly tried to conceal my erection. “Don’t be so silly! No one is here” she scolded me and snatched my towel away… I stood before her with my cock standing obscenely erect. I could see the gleam in her eye as she reached for me. I gasped as her hand grasped the shaft. My knees were trembling. Slowly she stroked me, firmly but slowly. Her eyes were fixed on my glistening cock head as she milked precum from me. She drew closer and delicately ran the tip of her tongue around the rim of my helmet. The sensations were like electricity. Without warning, she took me fully in her mouth, swirling her tongue around the head, all the while staring me in the eyes. I reached down and ran my fingers through her wet hair. Her firm grip around my shaft, backwards and forwards. I slowly pulled away from her and lowered myself to the ground. As I lay on my back Emma untied her bikini bottom and moved towards me, straddling my waist, her glazed expression was a picture of pure erotic desire. I could feel the moist heat of her pussy on my tummy. My cock nestled between her ass cheeks. I reached for her breasts, feeling the delicious weight of them and tracing a finger around each nipple. The puckered skin of her areola reacting immediately, her nipples hardening. My fingers tracing the sensual contours. Slowly she began to shuffle up my body. I knew what she wanted. I wanted it too. Her swollen wet lips protruded from her close cropped hair… her arousal only too apparent. As she approached, a movement in the corner of my eye caught my attention. A man was approaching along the waters edge. I nudged Emma.. “There’s someone coming!” I made to move her off me but she ground down hard on my chest, clamping me to the sand. “I am NOT stopping now!” She hissed at me. Our arousal took over and I grabbed her hips and pulled her to me. I felt her hands grab my head by the hair and pull my face into her pussy. I was hers… and yet she was mine. I knew her needs. My tongue searched the length of her and found its goal. I pulled her lips apart and delicately ran the tip of my tongue across her clit… her whole body responded. Her trembling turned into an intense spasm as her body responded to this most intimate of stimuli. I slid my tongue inside her and drank from her copious juices. She pressed down hard on my face and I felt her hands pulling my hair. I was in heaven. My sole objective was to give pleasure… pure unbridled pleasure. She reached behind her and grabbed my erect cock, my precum flowing freely from my sheer arousal as I fucked her with my tongue. A deep yet feminine growl emanated from her. “I want you inside me” she moaned, and began to slide herself down my body. Her erect nipples grazing my chest. She reached between us and grasped me, guiding me to where she needed me. I could feel the engorged head of my cock parting her lips and she began her slow downward journey… delicately impaling herself. That beautiful moment when my head slipped through her inner lips. She held me there and slowly withdrew me and repeated it again. She knew how she wanted me. She pressed her hands on my chest and sat up… and glided down my shaft in one movement. I gasped with her as her pubis met mine. She bore down, desperate for me to be even more within her. Slowly she began to rise on her knees… her pussy gripping my shaft as she slid up it, and then violently hard back down. Her head thrown back, she fucked me… hard and fast, and then slow, so incredibly slow. Then it came… “He’s watching”. I froze, like a rabbit in headlights. Slowly I turned my head. He was about ten yards away. Emma looked down at me, our eyes met. No words were required. I raised my hips off the sand and penetrated her deeply. This must have been a signal of acceptance for him because he came closer, pulling down the front of his swimming shorts to reveal his erect cock. He was just a couple of paces away. Both Emma and I were transfixed. “FUCK ME” she demanded whilst simultaneously beckoning him with a reached out hand. We had found our rhythm as she met each thrust I gave, her heavy breasts rising and falling. He approached, wanking his cock strongly. Her reached out hand found it. Her fingers encircled his thick shaft and held him. She looked down deeply into my eyes. It felt almost like our souls were as one. No jealousy. Just pure unadulterated erotic lust. We were as one… anything else was just enhancement, purely intensifying our arousal more. We were taking each other… with someone along for the ride. It was clear he was close. I could see his balls start to contract. Her hand on his cock was doing its work as we violently fucked. I felt his foot touch my arm. He was imminent and wanted to share. A low animal groan came from him as he announced his arrival. The first white rope of cum hit Emma’s heaving breasts, its whiteness stark against her deep tan. The second jet came my way, spraying down over me. Thick globules of hot cum rained over my chest.. I looked up at her. All I could see was ecstasy. She was massaging her breasts with both hands, coating herself with this other man’s gift. I cannot put into words the effect this had on me. Our fucking intensified. Deep and hard. I could feel myself so very close. Her fingers appeared at my lips. I couldn’t last any longer. She forced her cum covered fingers into my mouth, feeding him to me. That was the trigger. She knew it. My whole being shuddered as my cock swelled and the overwhelming pulsation began. Emma forced her entire weight down on me, her body pleading for all I could possibly deliver. I could feel her breasts touch my chest. The heat of her. The mixture of our endeavours intoxicating. Her body pressed on mine. Both our bodies heaving. Her breath on my neck as her slick body glided up me and I felt the weight of her head on my shoulder. I slowly opened my eyes. The stranger had vanished. Was he ever there? Only his taste on my lips told the true story.