Apologies for my digressing from my journal. I was distracted by a friend who had asked me to write that last post as a guest in her blog. Business can now resume as usual!
Following my encounters during my summer vacation, I returned to university and continued my studies. The liaisons I had experienced with Patrick and Margaret were still incredibly raw in my mind. Deep feelings of guilt and shame surged through my mind yet my cravings for more were overwhelming. My masturbation always had a backdrop of the events of the summer. I needed more.
Looking back, I see this period in my life and my sexual encounters as quite fundamental to where I am now and how I feel about my sexual identity. At the time, of course, I had no awareness of this. I was on a debauched rollercoaster of hedonism and sought only the intense thrill of the moment, in a similar way to how I imagine a heroine addict simply exists between hits.
Some schools of thought believe that subconsciously our psyche seeks enlightenment and learning is always an objective in all of the choices we make… It certainly didn’t feel that way to me at the time. I was a thrill seeker.
I found myself participating in activities which I feel uncomfortable in relating. The hanging around secluded public toilets late at night desperately seeking release in whatever from it took. I was becoming really quite uninhibited. It became completely normal for me to indulge in this behaviour.
In Britain at that time, homosexual activity was driven underground and it was through encounters such as these that men could achieve any form of sexual excitement. This was a time when gangs used to prowl the streets “queer bashing”.
One safe activity was to hang out in one of the saunas that exist in towns throughout the country and have always been associated with clandestine sexual encounters between consenting adults.
I had become bolder from my secretive frequenting of cottages, but the first time I went to a sauna I was filled with an excitement that I hadn’t felt since Patrick.
I had found the sauna on a small backstreet near the centre of town and had decided to go during the day when I thought it might be quieter. These places are usually rather dingy in appearance and this one was no different. Peeling paint and flickering neon. This was certainly no health spa!
I pushed open the door and entered the foyer. A woman stood behind a counter and greeted me cheerfully, asking me if I required a masseuse or if I wanted just the sauna. As a student, cash was in short supply, and so I politely asked for the sauna. I handed the money over and in return she handed me a robe and a towel. “That way for the changing rooms, and the sauna is through the door on the other side” she informed me.
I made my way into the changing rooms, piped music playing softly some light classical piece. I found a locker and began to undress. I had been hard from the moment I had left home, and my arousal had left my underwear damp. I looked around and saw that three other lockers were being used and realised that it must be quiet.
I hung my clothes in the locker and put on the robe, my erect cock obscenely bulging it at the front, and made my way through into the steam room. The heat hit me like a wall and through the fog of the steam I could see that there were benches around the perimeter and in a corner were the hot stones with a bucket of water and a ladle.
There were two middle aged men sitting beside each other and another slightly younger guy sitting alone. The two together were chatting, but stopped as I entered the room. The silence lasted just a coupe of seconds but felt an eternity. I could see pure hunger in their eyes as I crossed the room to the bench on the opposite side to them. I sat down and leaned back, closing my eyes and adjusting myself to the heat. Through partially opened eyes I could see the two who were chatting openly fondling themselves beneath their robes. I felt myself stiffen. I glanced to my left and the guy on his own had his robe opened and was stroking a quite beautiful thick cock. Slow gentle but firm strokes. I was transfixed. I reached down and felt myself through my robe as I gazed at his hand rise and fall along the length of his shaft. It was a wonderful beast of a cock. A huge swollen head oozed precum which slowly ran down to his fingers. As I watched he gathered some up and brought it to his lips and licked. My mouth was dry as I watched his deliberate seduction of me.
Across the room, the two others had by now began to explore each other as they also watched on. I edged along the bench and came alongside the man on his own. His fingers were wrapped around his cock again and with his other hand he reached over and stroked my leg. I shivered with the pent up excitement at his touch. He ran his hand higher up my thigh and slipped it inside the robe. I closed my eyes and threw back my head in sheer delight as he found his goal. I heard him gasp as his hand encircled my hardness. I reached over to him and ran a finger around the engorged helmet of his cock. The sticky precum was free flowing from him now in a beautiful sticky stream. I brought my finger to my mouth and sucked on it suggestively as he watched. Not a word had been exchanged. No words were needed. We were being driven by an overwhelming desire.
I felt him rise to his feet and step in front of me and I reached for the glorious manhood standing proud. I gripped the shaft firmly, my fingers only just managing to meet around it. I drew closer and examined it as I slowly wanked the precum from him. Delicately I ran my tongue around the rim of the inflamed helmet. It was his turn to shudder. “Yesssss” he hissed as I began to devour him, his cock head virtually filling my mouth. I felt a hand press the back of my head and I looked up. The other two men had come over and joined us and it was one of them that was pushing my head down on the gorgeous cock. “Good boy” he told me “Suck him good”. I didn’t need to be told. I gazed up into his eyes as I worked his shaft with one hand as I sucked. The other two were now furiously stroking their cocks. I reached up with my free hand and began to wank the nearest one, pulling it nearer to my mouth. I released the cock from my mouth and it was immediately replaced by another. The precum was running down my chin as I ravenously took as much of his length as I could. The other man had dropped to his knees and was between my legs. He parted my thighs and grasped my cock with one hand. I heard the first man speak, “We’ve got a serious cumslut here” and the other “MMMMM” in reply. They were right, but I knew it was really me that was in control. They were like putty in my hands. I knew I could make them explode in the blink of an eye… or stop in the same instant, depriving them of their conquest.
I was alternating between the two cocks before me. Feeling their impending climaxes before swapping to the other. Edging them repeatedly. Precum and saliva poured from me as I increased the pace. The third was now fingering me as he worked on my cock. This was a new experience and I wanted more. I felt a finger probe deep. I groaned around the cock in my mouth as I felt the violating finger press against my prostate.
Without warning, I felt a hot jet of cum hit the side of my face, then another as the second man unloaded. I could feel the cock in my mouth respond, as it began to swell and the shaft throb. I knew he was imminent and sure enough my mouth was engulfed by hot salty cum. This in turn triggered a violent response in me. I could feel my approaching orgasm as man three quickened his hand on my cock and penetrated me deeper. I was shaking uncontrollably when it hit me. I released the spent cock from my mouth and moaned as the hot cum erupted from me, hitting man three full on the chest. He dived down and took me in his mouth, milking me dry. Cum dripped from my face as the two on their feet squeezed their last drops. I slumped back on the bench… my desires satisfied, but short lived as the guilt took hold.